Tuesday, November 16, 2010


The other day I was having a discussion with one of my students about quality of friends vs. quantity of friends and that it's okay if you only have a few friends vs having a big group of friends. My main message is it's how your friends treat you.

Over the past few years I have lost some "friends" but also gained some amazing new friends as well as some friendships that have continued to grow stronger. I use "friends" in quotations because at the time they seemed like they were my friends but in reality they were not. I do not miss these "friends" at all. In fact, I thank them for teaching me to understand what a true friend is. I can happily count on one hand who my true friends are and that is something I am proud of. And even though time has past and these "friends" have never able show their well being towards me I know I have raised to the top by still showing my well being to them when necessary. I guess you could say I felt as if I have been the one who took the "higher road".

The real friends I do have make me happy because of the joy we bring each other. We are always there for each other when good things and bad things occur in our lives, we are each others cheerleaders, we don't judge the weaknesses we have, we can be honest with one another and know that the other won't be upset but appreciates receiving a different perspective on things when circumstances call for advice we may not always like hearing. Despite having some of these friends living miles apart we still find the time to make our friendships a priority and the best part of all.... these women are role models, and I can't wait for them to not only continue to be apart of my life but also be "aunties" in my daughters life.

Have any of you ever had a falling out with a friend aka "friendship divorce" and if so what lesson/s did it teach you?

PS: if any one is interested in reading on "friendship divorce" here is a great article.


  1. It's tough when friendships end, but I really believe in the whole 'reason, season, lifetime' theory. There are people who are not really in my life anymore that I thought would always be in my life, but it's just the way it goes. I had to learn to just let go and not take it personally when friendships shift/change.

  2. I have a close knit group of friends made up of childhood friends & friends that I have met thru hobbies and my children. I am very lucky to have the group that I have. Some of them I hadn't seen for years and when we get together it's like no time has passed. I have also "friends" that I let go, as their lifestyle and actions didn't need to be a part of my life. Sometimes people come into your life for different reasons and they are not all meant to stay forever, but you learn something from each one. Wonderful post! xxoo P.S. As a mom, it's very heartbreaking to watch your children go thru losses like frienships and love.

  3. I like how you talk about the distinction between friends and real friends. This last year of stress and illness has shown me that my real friends are those who kept reaching out when I couldn't.

  4. totally, girl - i so know what you're talking about!

    It is such a ride this whole being a women in relationships with other women, isn't it? Just wait until you become a mom - those will change so much faster! (don't mean to scare you!)

    It is so funny, I just had the same discussion with my daughter (7) the other day - it is so hard for them to know what 'quality friends' mean at that age, but I know, sadly, one day she will!

    Great post!